Sherlock Limericks

~ Sherlock ~

There once was a consulting detective,
High functioning – not the least defective.
He put Anderson in his place,
By criticising his face,
‘Cos with friends, he’s rather selective.

~ John ~

There once was a solder, barely alive,
Met Sherlock and started to thrive.
Saved his life with a gun,
Handcuffed, they did run,
But he’s in tears since his friend took a dive.

~ Mycroft ~

There once was a man from the Government
But his real job was what his brother meant
When he said “His real biz -
Isn’t ‘work for’ but ‘is’.”
Sadly for Mummy, their filial love is spent.

~ Lestrade ~

There once was a DI named Lestrade.
The best on offer from Scotland Yard.
But it’s not his division
When there’s some indecision,
So get Sherlock if the case is too hard!

~ Molly ~

There once was a girl called Molly,
With a love life full of folly.
Tried an office romance
With a thief who could dance -
She should stick to lipstick and coffee!

~ Mycroft ~

There once was a man with a brolley.

To cross him was really quite folly.

His brother, he died,

By the press, crucified -

But I suspect they both plotted with Molly!

~ Irene ~

There once was a lovely dominatrix.
Whose camera phone paid off in clicks.
Thought she was on to a winner,
When she asked Sherlock to dinner,
But it was in Karachi they both got their kicks!

~ Kate ~

There once was a chef called Kate,
Whose kindness would not abate.
Stepped in front of a cab-
Now has a hospital tab,
And it seems Mycroft's her regular date?

~ Mrs Hudson ~

There once was a landlady - not housekeeper,
Whose rent, from a dead husband, was cheaper.
She let Sherlock stay,
And his roommate - not gay!
Now they're a leaper for the reaper, and two weepers!

~ Moriarty~

There once was a lad called Jim.
Against Sherlock, he was determined to win.
Put a gun to his own head,
Pulled the trigger, now he's dead.
And did it all with a mad grin!

~ The Professor~

There once was a professor whose name
could strike fear to all he did maim.
He's not over the hill,
when he's out for the kill,
and he'll feast on that which remains.